When Young People Fall In Love, What Have They Fallen Into?


Dr. Carl Pickhardt said that no more than 15 percent of teenage love stories that he’s known were truly love. Teenagers hardly fall in love; they fall into a depth of caring and yearning for caring, a more complex and compelling feelings than anything that they have felt before.

As the feeling approaches, it involves more tensions and uncertainties than adults can imagine. Here’s a good summary of what these youngsters are dealing with:

  • It’s mind consuming: each always exists on the other’s mind at every moment and in every action taken.
  • It’s a merged relationship: each feels part of the other, and they don’t quite feel whole when they are away from each other.
  • It’s highly sensitized: both are alert to every tiny interpersonal signals and are easily to be hurt.
  • There’s a desperate attachment: both experience the joy of being together, coupling with the fear of losing each other.

Not yet to mention, most teenage in-love relationships don’t survive. The break-ups often come with a high price for both girls and boys – feeling helpless, rejected, and abandoned as well as losing their self-esteem and trust in others. Without support and guidance from experienced adults, they might not have a chance to learn about love and more mature behaviors for their long-term relationships later on.

Read on Psychology Today


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